Brother Dearest
by Thievius Trio
Summary: In which Hershel Layton and the Warden are brothers.


__

_In which: Hershel Layton and the Warden are brothers, Layton visits, Warden is happy, Warden hates Luke because he hates children, Layton is a pain in the ass, Alice and Jared are there, Warden throws a fit and calls Jailbot, Jailbot escorts the two out, Warden remembers how much he hated his older brother, and then he takes his frustration out on Jared as he always does._

* * *

"w-Warden, sir, there are two gentlemen outside who wish to see you!"

"I'm _busy,_ Jared!" the Warden snapped, emphasizing his point heavily. With a final glare and a violent motion for the man to leave, he turned back to the security guard, charming smile back in play. "You were saying, Alice?"

"But, sir!" Jared protested meekly, arms flailing in frustration as he struggled to gain his employer's attention. "It's urgent! They have an appointment, and-!"

"Damn it, Jared, I said I was busy!" the jailer yowled, slamming his hands down onto his work desk. Eyes narrowing, he charged irritably, "Tell them to reschedule or something, I don't care! Just get rid of them!"

Breathing heavily, he returned his attention to Alice, a strained smile playing across his lips as he struggled to regain his composure. "I am sorry for all of the interruptions, Alice. Please…continue."

"I can't; the little ass-wipe made me forget what I was talking about," Alice grumbled, scowling as she shot the secretary a dark glare. "Way to go, ass-wipe."

The Warden made an exasperated gesture, glowering at the smaller man. "You see, Jared? You made Alice lose her train of thought! We were having an important conversation, and you interrupted us for something as trivial as visitors! No one is _that_ important, Jared!"

"But, sir, it's your brother-!" Jared tried again, desperation creeping into his voice. His words did the trick, though, and the turnkey literally leapt from his seat, now all ears.

"Did you say 'brother', Jared?"

The inquiry was both demanding and excited, laced with the childish query the Warden usually carried. Used to such abrupt changes in personality, the smaller man paid it no heed, felling slightly more confident in himself as he nodded. "Yes, sir! He requested that he see you as soon as possible, sir!"

"Oh, this is grand news!" the Warden chimed, all previous anger forgotten as a wide smile split across his face. Straightening his top hat, he leaned against his desk, posing casually as he span his cane in one hand, motioning for Jared to open the door with the other. "Show our guests in, Jared."

Ever-obedient, Jared did as he was told, slipping out of the door to usher the two visitors inside kindly. "Go ahead in, gentlemen. The Warden will see you now."

The door flew open entirely, nicking the wall slightly; the Warden, however, was more focused on the two people being led into his office. A tall, fairly-built man decked out in brown and orange, a top-hat resting comfortably on his head, and a short, lanky teenager dressed atrociously in blue and green, red suspenders almost as ugly as the bag he carried at his waist. He'd never met the child before in his life, and he honestly didn't want to. Opting to ignore the boy, he pushed himself off of his desk, slinking towards the elder man. Tipping his hat to his brother, he greeted boisterously, "Welcome, Hershel, to Superjail! I pray you've liked what you've seen of my facility so far?"

"From what I've seen, you've done a great job, little brother," Layton replied pleasantly, tipping his hat in turn. Motioning to the boy beside him, he laughed, "It's kept Luke amused, at any rate. Isn't that right, my boy?"

"It was all very swell, Mr. Warden, sir! Especially the trolly!" the heathen - Luke - chirped, all wide eyes and smiles; the Warden loathed it. Disguising his disgust as amusement, he laughed hollowly. "I'm glad you find my prison to your liking, my boy. Perhaps you'll land yourself here some day?"

They thought he was joking; Layton and Luke chortled at the idea, the Warden joining half-heartedly. His words were rhetorical, however, and he was far from joking.

_Jailbot would bend your spine out of shape and snap it in two within seconds, kid. I'm sure we'd all get a good laugh out of that. Well, _I _would, anyway._

"While the idea is amusing, brother, it is quite impossible," the professor shook his head, smile as infuriatingly pure as it always had been. "I am teaching Luke the trade of being a gentlemen, you see."

"Oh really?" the younger drawled, voice now laced with false interest. "Well, they certainly picked the right man for the job, then."

"I'm also under an apprenticeship for him, too!" Luke gushed, his chest puffing out as he spoke, his words boastful. "When he's not teaching me how to be a proper gent, he's teaching me the art of puzzle solving!"

"How…quaint," the Warden muttered, his brows furrowing at the statement. Glancing back at his brother, he asked, "When did you start solving puzzles, Hershel?"

"About the same time you disappeared from my life, Zephyrus," Layton replied curtly, tone cheery and unperturbed; it showed in his eyes, though - he was genuinely angry. Everyone turned at the name, staring at the Warden in surprise.

"z-Zephyrus?" Jared prompted, confusion etched across his face. "Is that your real name, Warden?"

"Pretty stupid name," Alice grunted, picking at her teeth lazily as she spoke. The jailer's face flushed in humiliation, seething as he stared the older man down.

"I told you never to call me that!" the Warden snarled, his hat falling to the ground uselessly as he made violent, angry gestures. Prodding the historian in the chest with the ball-end of his cane, he finished moodily, "That part of my life has been erased, Hershel! You will only address me as the Warden, are we clear?"

The elder brother only smiled - that infuriating smile - and shook his head at the fit the younger was throwing. Kneeling down, he picked up the discarded hat, offering it to the other. "Would you like your hat back, Zephyrus?"

The Warden's body trembled in rage as he seethed, ripping the hat from his hands. Finally, he stomped his foot, screaming, "JAILBOT!"

Jared quickly took cover beneath the office desk at the call, and Alice growled, grumbling, "I'm not cleaning any bloodstains out of the carpet if he rips them limb from limb…"

Luke looked absolutely mortified by the woman's - ? - words, quickly cowering behind the professor, crying, "I don't want to be ripped limb from limb, Professor!"

There was a loud crash as the robot suddenly burst through the wall, pinchers clamping noisily, and Layton gave the blonde a quick pat on the head as he began to whimper, assuring him, "We'll be fine, my boy."

An evil smile flashed across Jailbot's screen, and he reached out to squeeze the two of them, only to be stopped by the Warden. "Leave them alive, Jailbot; after all, he_ is _family. I only want you to escort the two of them out of my prison. Brutally mangle them if you wish, but leave them alive."

A single tear rolled down his screen, and the robot beeped sadly, but did as it was told, nudging the two out of the room. Luke gladly ran for the door without any assistance, but Layton lingered just a bit longer, tipping his hat and flashing that smile once more. "Goodbye, Zephyrus."

An enraged scream tore from the Warden's throat as they vanished. Glaring after them, he growled, "I forgot how much I hated that bastard."

Upon hearing the lack of violence, Jared cautiously crawled from beneath the desk, asking, "w-Warden, sir?"

Another scream tore through the air as the man harpooned his secretary with his cane, and Alice merely grunted, declaring, "I'm not cleaning that crap up."

Breathing heavily, the Warden peered down at the mess he had made, frowning as Jared twitched. "Damn it, Jared, can't you even die correctly? This is all your fault, you know!"

Jared simply gurgled in reply, drowning in his own blood.


End file.
